


Blood Stained

by Selcouth_Kiara



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-22
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-02-09 22:42:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2000694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selcouth_Kiara/pseuds/Selcouth_Kiara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Skye and the team try to move on from Ward's betrayal, but with Fitz still in a coma, Coulson trying to rebuild shield and Skye's deteriorating mental state, it has become difficult to go back to normal. Meanwhile shield is having trouble 'breaking' Ward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It is just the stress...

**Author's Note:**

> So uh, I have been thinking about this a lot, and really wanted to write it, but you know, writers block. I literally have a whole whiteboard full of scenes i'd like to add to it. Please Please Please Please critique, i dont care if it is harsh, i want your help and opinions. If you can please visit my tumblr page http://lusquishafer.tumblr.com/ I post fanart and also Ill never have "next on ...blah blah blah" but I might do some preview art for chapters, so uh ya....ENJOY!

  I don't blame him- not anymore at least. I told him I had a few skeletons in the closet. Everybody has skeletons. And that is normal. The problem was, he had more than I could ever believe. _I find it ironic considering mine keep stacking up_. He got what he wanted though. I was- am, I am-a monster.

And no, I don’t mean the kind you look for under the bed or in a closet. I don’t have _teeth_ , or _claws_ or any physical deformities.

I am the kind of monster that people shuffle their kids away from on the streets. I give off the essence of danger and fear. I am stained with the blood that people can’t see but know is there. I scare myself sometimes. I’m not safe.

Ward never wanted to hurt me. He wanted someone who understood him. He realized too late it really wasn’t what he thought it would be.

Yes he was damaged, but he could be _fixed_.

I can’t.

I have come to terms with my problems, I just _hope_ he can…

_I hope_ the team forgives him like I was able to

_I hope_ Fitz can trust him again….call him a _friend_ again…

_I hope_ he can forgive himself             

_I hope. I hope. I hope_ -

-that when I fall, and that when I'm gone, he is able to move on. He has enough stuff going on in his head, and this wasn't his fault. This was going to happen one way or another. He shouldn't blame himself. And though he'll never know. The last thing that crossed my mind, before I was swept away, was him.

  _I forgive you Ward_

**~THE PLAYGROUND, FOUR MONTHS EARLIER~**

_*thump thump*_

"Skye, it’s Trip. Open up."

A single tear fell down her cheek that she wiped away before sliding the door open. A snarky smile painted her face and she tilted her head. "What do ya need?"

_He could see right past her_ , "You've been watching the tapes again, haven't you?"

Her smile dropped and he followed her eyes towards her laptop.

"Skye, no matter how many times you watch it, it is never going to change."

"You don't think I know that?”

_Her answer wasn’t good enough._

_She tried again._

 “-he betrayed us. He made fools of us. HE ALMOST KILLED FITZ!" Her eyes began burning holes through him.

_Maybe that would shut him up. Fitz hit a soft spot in everyone._

He motioned for her to scoot over and sat next to her.

_Dang, still wasn’t good enough._

"I think- although you know it won’t change- you still don't know...how... it happened. Do you get my drift?"

"No Trip, I don’t." She rested her elbows on her knees and rubbed her temples.

"You aren't sure how…. or why he could throw his friends to their deaths-,”

_Nice answer Trip, you are worse than Ward at this stuff._

“-after saving them so many times before. And…You don’t know how he could betray someone as great and kind as Coulson, for someone as cold as Garret. How he could get past May so easily. Or how he could care for someone so much, only to break her hea-"

"Stop.”

He hit a nerve and he knows it, "I'm sorry Skye. I know this is hard. But watching him push Fitz and Jemma out of the bus so many times, it- won't change **_why_** he did it." His head nodded towards the video file open on her laptop.

This time he was right. But she could never admit it.

She had watched it countless times.  Each the same.

Fitz screamed and screamed, and although she couldn't hear what Jemma was saying she could only imagine the words coming from her mouth. 'Give it up Fitz. We don't mean anything to him. We are just his mission.'

Skye tried so hard to find any pity in his eyes. Any mercy. _Anything_ at all that could make him any less of a monster. She kept thinking maybe…. _Maybe_ , they had missed something. _Maybe_ , he thought it would float. _Maybe_ , there was someone holding a gun to him just out of view. _Maybe,_ they had someone he loved, like all the others in the incentives program, _Maybe_ -

But there was nothing-

“I know you care about us Ward!” _Fitz screamed it in his sleep._

-Ward would push eject. Watch them fall. And walk away.

_No excuses for you Ward. You’ve been a bad little soldier, and you are going to the fridge for your crimes._

She wondered how long she sat there dazed, staring at the floor, before Trip spoke up.

"How have you been sleeping?”

She just stared at the ground.

“I mean, have ‘they’ gotten worse?”

“No, they are getting better” _That was a lie. The floor was so much more appealing than this conversation._

“Ok well I guess that is good, I’m going to go check on Jemma, I expect to see you at dinner”

_She really needed to sweep or something._

 “Skye? Are you listening?”

“Ya ** _mom_** _,_ I’m listening” _Another lie_

He rolled his eyes and left her alone with her thoughts.

‘They’, were not getting better, It had been the same dream every night. Well, at least since they got back from Cybertek a month ago.

     She was running through a jungle. Her hands were stained with blood. Where did all this blood come from? She wasn’t bleeding….

Ahead of her Coulson, May, and Trip, continued on and behind her…was someone following them?

_Well of course dummy, why else would Coulson be running?_

One second she was carving her way down the trail and the next she was face down on the ground eating dirt.

She must’ve tripped over a stump. _Stupid stump_.  
The footsteps got closer behind her and defense mode kicked in. She shot back up ready to defend herself against the supposed enemy force.

Trees. Just trees.

_She could have sworn there was someone only a few paces behind her._

No, just trees.

“Guys, you can stop running, I think we lost-….Guys?”

She turned around to see how far the team had gotten ahead of her, but was instead greeted by a cliff-side.

_I could have sworn that wasn’t there before._

“MAY?”

“Trip!?”

“AC!!?”

“GUYS!?!?”

“….Where are you?”

Her shouts only echoed back.

_They wouldn’t just leave her. Would they?_

 Skye slowly edged over to the tree line and looked around.

_Oh great a bridge….and old bridge…maybe they went this way?_

_Was this way even safe?_

The bridge was made of old tattered rope and was missing a couple of the wooden panels. Across it the stone was lined with vines and the jungle continued to the edge, some of the roots could even be seen through the Cliffside. It was at least 50 yards to the other side and 200 to the rugged water roaring below.

She walked to the edge and peered down.

_That would be a rough fall._

_The team couldn’t have gone anywhere else, there was nowhere else to go._

Her right foot stuck out to test the first panel and although the creak made her stomach churn, it seemed strong enough to hold her weight.

_Well it held Trip’s weight didn’t it?_

She continued slowly until she reached the middle of the bridge.

**_*crack*_ **

_Shit. No._

The board beneath her broke began to crack

Don’t move Skye, don’t m-“

***crack***

The old panel cracked in half taking her with it.

Leaving her now hanging, one handed, onto a slowly unwinding rope.

“No come on please”

**_*snap*_ **

A short scream filled her lungs before a hand came down to grab her arm.

“…Ward?”

He was crouched over the broken board hanging on to one of the support ropes with his other hand clinging to her forearm.

“Haha, ya sweetheart?”

_Sweetheart?_ “What are you doing here?-” Her hand began sliding down his forearm “-haha yeah, actually never mind that, pull me up please?”

He laughed a little more and turned his head towards the jungle trying to hide the expression on his face ,” I can’t do that Skye”

A panicked gasp came out as her arm slowly began to slip from his hand. “Ward please! This isn’t funny!”

He turned back to look down at her and flashed a cocky grin on his face. “Who said I was joking”

_…was he serious?- he can’t still be….loyal_

_“_ Garret is dead!”

His hand slid more so he was only gripping her wrist now.

“YOU SAID YOU WOULD NEVER HURT ME! GRANT PLEASE!”

His face was cold now. “I lied”

_And he released her_. ~~~

At this point in the dream she would jolt up in her bed with panicked gasps, and after she calmed herself she would lay back down on her now sweaty sheets and play on her phone till she fell asleep again, but after the first week passed by, it got worse. Not really ‘ _worse’._ It just seemed to get more… _real_.

Trip would wake from her screams and humble old him would come to the rescue.

He would bring her water, ask her if she wanted to talk, _even though she always refused_ , and sit in the corner chair until she fell asleep again. It was more than she would ask for, but she was appreciative.

After the first time Skye made him promise not to tell Coulson, and he didn’t.

_She figured if AC ever knew, he would have her sleep in the med pod next to Fitz with constant surveillance if she was having any issues._

She tried not to worry much about the dreams though. She had been through hell, and there were worse problems, there was Fitz.

_She told herself every night, “It was only stress._

_Get some rest Skye, it will be over soon.”_

**~CLASSIFIED LOCATION (LEVEL 8 CLEARANCE ONLY)~**

“We are going to ask you questions nicely now. If you answer them truthfully, we will get along just fine. But if you choose not to answer, this nice agent in the corner is going to break your pinky finger” She motioned to the smug looking guy standing in the dark. “Understand?”

“How thoughtful of you” He smiled mockingly.

The agent standing before him rolled her eyes. She was average height, small build, had dark skin, hair and eyes. And looked like she hadn’t had any kind of intimate relation in years.

_The ugly scar on her cheek was probably part of the reason._

_Or maybe it was the dull lifeless look in her eyes. She was probably no fun at parties._

“Do you have any questions for us?”

There was a small pause before he sat up in his chair leaning forward as far as his handcuffs would let him.

“uh, ya actually. Why is this guy wearing sun glasses inside? Only blind people and douchebags do that, so which is it?”

The only sign she gave that she was listening was the agitated twitch of her nose.

A snug smile filtered his face and hid the bags under his eyes. “Well I’m putting my money on douchebag. I know they hired Fury, but I don’t think they would let blind people fight crime and kill and all that other fun stuff.”

His smile grew deeper and he leaned back in his chair and shrugged his shoulders. “Am I right or am I right?”

“Question one.”

“I’ll take that as a yes”

“We found your family records, military paperwork, and even everything on your time in prison. We also have your enrollment papers at the Academy. –but, we seem to be missing 5 years of your life before you joined the academy. “

“and the question, agent…?”

“-Anderson, agent Anderson. Our question is, Mr. Ward, what happened in those 5 years. Where were you?”

“What happened to ‘agent’ Ward? ‘Mr. Ward’ makes we sound old”

“You lost that title when you betrayed Shield.”

_Betrayed was such a harsh word._

“I was Hydra first, technically I never betrayed you, I just _played_ you”

The word stung coming off of his tongue but he chose to ignore it.

“I thought you weren’t involved in Hydra, only with Garret”

“Well ya, but same difference.”

“So where were you?”

“I don’t know, where were you?”

“Mr. Ward, you are avoiding the question”

“I’m sorry I forgot, what was it again?”

She was getting frustrated. “Where were you in those five missing years?”

He didn’t answer. He was done being snarky, now he just wanted to avoid his surroundings completely; camouflage his mind; do what they taught him at operations. Interrogation 101.

“We have come to assume, this missing period of time, is when you were corrupted by former Agent Garret. Would you care to elaborate on our suspicions?...Mr. Ward?”

_He wasn’t corrupted by Garret, he had always been a bad person._

“Mr. Ward you have 5 seconds to cooperate.”

_Well, not always. Maynard made him a bad person._

“…5-“

_Garret only fueled his fire-_

“-4”

_Gave him a reason to live-_

“-3” The agent in the corner began walking towards him.

_He owed Garret_

“-2”

_Or else he would have never betrayed Skye_

“1”

_There is that word again, ‘betrayed’_

**_*snap*_ **


	2. Chapter 2- Rememberance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skye and the team try to move on from Ward's betrayal, but with Fitz still in a coma, Coulson trying to rebuild shield and Skye's deteriorating mental state, it has become difficult to go back to normal. Meanwhile shield is having trouble 'breaking' Ward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been really busy and haven't written anything in a long time. Today I was going to write chapter three of this story and then update ya'll on where the story is going; considering I am way behind and so much crap has happened. I will explain all that in chapter 3 but for now, if you are even still interested, I noticed that when I posted this story, all of the bold, italics, and scene separators didn't post, so it is completely confusing. Also I changed a couple thing based on where I am going to take the story. Please enjoy the new and improved chapter. You will also probably have to reread the first chapter considering how long it has been so have fun...hope you enjoy the edits...and please read and review, 3 should be up by tomorrow afternoon at the latest.
> 
> *Also I anybody would like to. I need someone to look over my stories before I post them. Just PM me and Ill look over some of your works to see if you are good for the job. Please don't be offended if you aren't chosen. Thank you in advance*

"Have any threes?"

"Go fish"

Jemma leaned over to grab a card from the pile.

It was a really quiet awkward game, but she insisted on playing something so he chose the stupidest thing he could think of. Go Fish.

He sat on the hospital bed with one foot tucked under him and the other rested over the side of the bed, bobbing up and down impatiently.

He sighed. "Do you have any aces?"

"Ah, you got me again" She looked up and flashed a sympathetic smile as leaned over to pass him the 2 aces she had in her hand.

When their fingers touched, she lingered but pulled back immediately when he flinched nervously.

"I'm sorry..."

He balled his hand into a fist and looked up at her. "Can you please stop doing that?"

Her smile curled downward, "Doing… what?

"I can't stand it, you keep looking at me like I'm some…some, mental patient"

She reached her hand out to touch his hand, "well Fitz, you kind of are-"

"AND STOP TOUCHING ME!" His hands pulled back into fists. He noticed her wince at the raising of his voice so he lowered it to a forcive whisper."You always have your hands on me!

Every time we talk, you have to grab my hand, or my shoulder, or my knee like you are... reassuring me, and I hate it!"

She pulled her hand back from where it floated and looked at the bed. "I-I'm sorry"

"Jemma" He waited for her to look up at him again, "just because we used to be close doesn't mean I remember any of it. The constant touching, and staring makes me uncomfortable."

Her eyes moved back to the bed. "Well…. Fitz, we were...  _are_ ,

we  _are_  friends…friends do that… _we_  did that"

"Well I can't remember that! To me you are just some random girl who won't stop pestering!" He raised his voice again and she cringed at his words.

"I'm sorry… I didn't realize that I made you uncomfortable-it is just that we used to-be...friends", Tears began forming under her eyes.

"and please...stop apologizing"

"Uh-I'm sor- I mean….." She ducked her head down, looked at her cards and began rubbing her brow, trying to drop the conversation, "uh… do you have any sixes?" She tried to smile but the tears began swelling down her cheeks. And she just stared vacantly at her legs that lay crisscrossed on the bed.

Fitz leaned back on the head board and tossed his cards down. He couldn't look at her now.

He felt bad, but he had needed to say something. It was hard enough not remembering, but then always having her there reminding him…it hurt.

"I don't want to play anymore Jemma, I think you should go."

She laughed to herself.  _It was such a miserable laugh_. She swiped her sleeve over her face to rid herself of the tears. "Uh- ya, you are probably right…."She smiled dismissively " I –uh, think I have some tests to look over anyhow." She stood up to leave but turned to face him.

He avoided her glare. He just stared at the cluttered corner filled with dying flowers and stuffed animals.

"So…I guess I'll send in Skye later with your dinner and the rest of those photos I told you about" she sniffled, "ok?"

His eyes focused on the bed; trying to fight back tears.

"Ok then" She smiled to the floor and wiped her eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow for your daily check-up"

"He looked up as the glass door closed behind her.

He shouldn't have been so mean. In the last two weeks she had only tried to help, but he just felt that she expected him to have some miraculous recovery. She was buddy-buddy with him and was always making jokes,  _that he assumed were references_ , and she just expected him to pick up on them and laugh along. She tried pushing him to remember things. Every morning, day, and night she was by his side telling stories and showing pictures. But it never helped, and she never stopped.

**"C'mon Fitz you have to remember this one?"**

**He stared down at the picture she presented in front of him. How many was this now? 50? 100?**

**"You and I were trying to prank Skye all day and we kept failing horribly. Then after our mission we were playing scrabble and you came into the telly room looking hilarious, with shaving scream all over your face. You were so mad….do you remember?"**

**He shook his head and her smile disappeared.**

**"We never found out who did it…"**

His eyes floated over to the envelope sitting on his nightstand.

He reached over and grabbed it, letting the pictures fall out onto his lap.

One after one, he scanned each photo taking only one second glance at the picture Jemma had shown him. He kept flipping until he found another.

After Jemma had given up with the picture approach from his lack of response, Skye,  _the computer specialist_ , came in with her own photos and told him about each of the people in them. It was different the way Skye did it. She wasn't pressing for memories to pop in his head, she didn't want him to remember, she was just telling a story.

The photo he stopped to look at was of him and 'the team', or so they called themselves.

He had met them all after he had woken up, but of course he didn't recognize them

Skye told him that this was taken after their first mission all together. They kicked back and drank beers;  _his idea apparently_ ; and watched spyware get shot into space.

He slid his thumb over him and Jemma. Seemingly enjoying each other's presence. Laughing at something she had said.  _They looked happy_.

**His eyes opened and blinked shut again, blinded from the light. He brought his arm up to shade him while he adjusted to the room.**

**A weight shifted on his other arm and he looked down to find a sleeping girl, her arm linked with his.**

_**Why was his arm broken?** _

**He pulled it out slowly, trying not to wake her, but her head fell to the bed and she jerked awake.**

**She sniffled a little, wiped the sleep from her eyes and focused in on him.**

**"...Fitz?- OH THANK GOD!"**

**She took his face in her hands and started kissing him up and down.**

**She ended with her forehead on his. "Oh Fitz, I thought you'd never wake up"**

**He grabbed her hands and watched as she lifted her head to look at him. Tears smothered her face making her eyeliner run.**

**She was beautiful- but…. "Who are you?"**

**"F-fitz…I don't understand?" Her smile was twisted into utter confusion.**

**He shrunk back and began looking around just as confused as her, while she stared at the readings on the monitor on his right.**

**He took her hand again and asked again more prominently "Who is Fitz?...Where am I?"**

**She stared at him with disbelief "You are at the playground…..remember we were in the cargo and…you saved me…and sacraf-"**

**"-Playground?" He interrupted "-I'm sorry….I can't remember…?" Where the hell was he?**

**A man in a suit came rushing into the room. Fitz pushed himself up. Ow! Why did he hurt so much?**

**The man pushed his way past the woman, who was now backing up slowly with a dull sad look etched on her face.**

**"Who are you, why am I here!?", He screamed out.**

**He began nervously jerking around to look at his surroundings.**

**"The man took his shoulder as if trying to reassure him. "…Fitz?"**

**He pushed himself off the bed and backed into the corner, ripping the wires, placed all over his body. "WH-what happened to me!? Why can't I remember anything? Where am I?", he was almost crying now**

**"You are at the playground..."**

**"This doesn't look like a playground! Why am I here?"**

**He jerked at the sound of the door flying open and brunette came rushing towards him.**

**She threw her arms around him and buried her face into his shoulder. "Took you long enough!"**

**He stood silently looking at the astonished faces that now crowded the room.**

**The brunette backed up and squinted at him. "What's wrong?"**

**She turned to look at the others for answers but they only stood motionless with gaping mouths…. the first girl slid slowly down the wall she was leaning on, to the ground. She wouldn't look at him now.** **"Skye?... could you uh-wake the other doctor please?"**

**"Why? What is going on?" The Brunette looked back at him for answers.**

**"Who are you people…?"**

He squeezed his eyes trying to rid himself of the memory, then looked back to the picture.

They were all nursing their drinks, laughing about something…-he wished he knew what.

It was weird seeing himself in situations he couldn't remember.

_It was weird talking about himself in third person._

Off to the side of the photo Skye sat on a white cooler, fiddling with her phone.

May was sitting by herself, staring at the rest of them with a straight face. She seemed to never smile.

The Director was standing in the back, cross armed looking to the distance.

He remembered meeting him.

The Director had always insisted he just called him Coulson, or AC; with Skye arguing in the background that it was 'DC' now…But it felt wrong; calling a 'superior officer' anything other than his title…

His hand swiped over the photo until it landed on the last figure. The tall man.

He dreamed about him sometimes.

He always woke up screaming things that didn't make sense and when Skye asked him what he had seen, he couldn't remember.

He could only see the tall man standing in front of him, a wall of glass separating them...the tall man looked so distressed...and sad.

That was all he could see.

Nobody would tell him the man's name.

Only that he was a traitor, and that he had done this to him; made him forget.

They never went into detail, despite him arguing it might help return his memories.

Skye would try and explain, but was always interrupted by the others; Jemma always saying the man was better forgotten.

Whoever he was Skye seemed the most upset by him. They must have been close.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door frame.

"Meal time"

He peered up from the photo to see Skye standing in the doorway with a tray of food.

He tucked the photo back in the back of the stack and smiled at her "Sorry...I didn't hear you come in"

She smiled "Ya, all these extra lessons with the Cavalry are paying off"

He just looked at her confused.

"Right, we haven't gotten there yet- uh... anyways…it looks like you really upset Simmons, what did you say to her this time?"

"I may have accidentally overstated the truth…very strongly, and she didn't take it so well…"

Skye set the tray down in front of him and sat on the corner of the bed. "Was she trying to carry you to the bathroom?-she did that to me…"

"What?-no… It is the way she looks at me- and don't say it is because we were friends, I know that. It is just weird for me having her constantly hover."

"Ha, ya I know what you mean. She was the same when I was shot- I told you that story right?"

"Ya, you did"

"Well anyways, she pestered me too,

and hovered...because she cared-"

"Well-"

She interrupted "No Fitz, I'm serious, listen.

"You guys weren't just friends, you were basically joined at the hip. She hovers because that is what you guys did to each other. You hovered. You finished each other's sentences. You understood each other's stupid science jokes. This whole thing is difficult for you because you aren't used to it yet, and I understand that, but it is also difficult for her, not having the Fitz she has known for so many years."

Of course, he felt bad now.

"-Jemma doesn't have anyone who understands her anymore. That is why she tries so hard to help you remember. She wants her friend back."

He looked down at the photos again, and carefully flipped through each one.

Every time he and Jemma were together.

"I guess that is what I'm afraid of though….and why I push her away. She wants  _him_  back so much and I just don't know If she'll ever see that Fitz again."

"I'm sure you'll remember someday…you are still recovering."

He glanced up and smirked at her.

"Now do you have any special requests before I leave? Anything you want I'll get."

He carefully tucked the pictures back into the envelope. "Anything?"

"Anything."

He paused for a moment and looked back down at the envelope, nervously fiddling with the bent corner. "...Tell me about the tall man…you know…" Fitz gestured towards his head "the one with the dark hair."

Skye paused at his request.

"You don't have to…if it is too much, I mean."

Skye opened her mouth to say something but then stopped and started peering around the room.

Fitz followed her line of sight to a camera in the corner "What are you-"

She stood up and grabbed the tablet off his nightstand.

He watched her play with a keys for a moment before she looked back up to watch the red light on the camera go out.

She sat back down on his bed and looked at him sincerely. More than she ever had before "Where do I start?"

She wasn't asking rhetorically. She actually seemed lost and like she needed help.

He wouldn't know but answered the only thing that seemed right.

"The beginning….please"

* * *

"Director Coulson?"

He looked up from the giant stack of paperwork on his desk. "C'mon Melinda, you know you can call me Phil."

"Phil"

He smiled "Yes Mel"

"Are those the files on the new agents?" She walked over to his desk and nodded in the direction of the stack.

His eyes followed hers, "If they pass the new tests than yes, they are"

Skye had created a new software similar to Project Insight that examined possible recruits. Checking their background and estimating their future decisions. If they passed the test they were put into the academy, but unlike Project Insight, if they failed the test they were put on a list and unknowingly kept under surveillance. It helped catch Hydra recruiters and kept possible hydra recruits on the right path.

He looked back to her and laced his fingers together on his desk. "I'd actually like you to go over the list when they are done, I need your...professional...opinion"

"I thought you trusted the new system."

"You can never put full trust in anything…."

It was a small comment that wasn't meant for her, but she still flinched. It was unlike her, but a lot of things had changed. She felt more vulnerable.

"-is that why you are here Mel, or is there something else I need to know about?"

"It..." She seemed to rethink her decision to include him, but continued anyways. "It isn't working sir"

"It is Phil...not sir...and what isn't?"

"You know what"

There was a pause.

She continued "He is too well trained for this level of torture. He hasn't flinched at a single tactic. He is as good…or almost better, than Romanoff. Garrett must have really put a lot into him."

"-Or taken a lot" Coulson cut in.

"We need another approach…and you and I both know what that is-"

"-no"

"It is the only way…he won't talk to anyone el-"

"-no, I said no. You can leave now"

"Phil."

"May." He hadn't used her last name in awhile, "We are not sending Skye in."

* * *

**(That night)**

Screams echoed through the halls of the base.

Trip woke with a jerk and without thinking about it, removed his covers and ran to the door ignoring the feel of the cold pavement on his bare feet.

He opened his door to find the room across from his wide open.

He ran in and stopped to find Jemma staring at a sleeping Skye fearfully.

Skye was matted with sweat. She had kicked the covers off of the bed and was curled into a tight ball, with her hands clawing at hers ears. A blood curdling scream escaped her mouth as she rocked back and forth painfully.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with her!" Jemma tried to yell over Skye's cries.

"Go back to bed Jemma, it is ok, I got this"

Skye wailed again.

Trip ran past her to Skye.

"This has happened before...I can stop it, I don't need you. Go back to bed."

Jemma through her hands out, "I'm not leaving!"

He rolled his eyes. "Just help me hold her down."

Jemma ran forward and pulled at Skye's legs.

Skye kicked and pulled but Jemma kept her pressed to the bed while Trip tried to pry her hands off of her ears.

"It has never been this bad before! Normally she wakes up immediately!"

The screaming continued and Trip wasnt sure what to do

He pulled her arms away enough to whisper in her ear.

"It is ok baby girl,

I got you.

Calm down.

You're safe"

Skye yanked her feet away from Jemma and cringed back up and let out another wail.

Trip released her and fell to the ground, letting out his own scream.

Jemma slid over beside him "Trip! What is wrong!"

He tucked into the same position as Skye. Letting out his own wails to match hers.

Blood began coming out of his ears and nose forming a small puddle on the ground, and foam came from his mouth. He was seizing.

Jemma tried to pull his arms away from his ears but he was too strong for her.

She didn't know what to do. She needed help. This was impossible.

_Why were they being punished. All this pain._

was Skye doing this?  _No-_  it was impossible.

The next thing she did didn't feel right. This wasn't possible. None of this was right.

She jumped back up to Skye and pulled Skye's hand away from her...enough to see her face, and over her own choked sobs, screamed.

"STOP IT SKYE! STOP IT PLEASE

YOU'RE KILLING HIM!"

...and then it was like time froze.

Skye was silent now. She had fell limp in her arms. Still curled in a ball...but silent. Her makeup had run down her face and stained her sheets.

Jemma released Skye's wrists and turned to Trip who was still in a fetal position, but he had rolled over to his knees and replaced the wailing with quiet weeps. His hands still cupped his ears, and the blood started to dry on his skin.

The pained look on Trip was enough to make her hurl.

A group of agents still in their night clothing came rushing into the room after May and Coulson. May dropped down next to Trip and placed her hand on his shoulder while another gent tried to gain his attention.

_She felt so dull._

She felt Coulson push past her to Skye. He pulled her sleeping body in his arms and caressed her. Trying to wake her.

A few other agents began filing into the room trying to assess the situation.

Jemma just sat at the end of the bed next to Coulson and Skye, watching the medical team flash lights in the now dazed eyes of Trip.

She would help them, but she couldn't get herself to move. Her ears hurt, and she was tired, so...tired.

She watched Skye wake in confusion over her unknown surroundings. She asked the same question over and over.

_"What happened"_

But nobody had an answer.

May moved over in front of Jemma now.

She squatted in front of her, and caressed her face in her hands, wiping away her tears.

_This is just like what mum does._

May tried to speak to her. But everything just went out the other ear. She just wanted to go back to bed.

She looked over to the still shocked Skye.

Skye's eyes followed all of the agents in the room to Trip.

As soon as she saw him it was almost as if something clicked in her head. She began pushing herself backwards until she hit the headboard.

She was rocking back and forth, shaking her head in disbelief. Her hands pressed back into her hair and tears flooded from her eyes.

"I'm sorry!" She choked on her tears. "I'm so sorry!

I don't know what is wrong with me!"

The confusion in Coulson's face grew even more. He placed his hands on Skye's shoulders. "Skye...what are you sorry about, this isn't your fault"

Skye pulled his hands from her face and looked up at him. The bags under her eyes still soaked with tears. "I-i, did this to him."

Jemma spoke up now, she needed to know if her suspicions were correct, and that she wasn't crazy "Did  _what_  Skye"

Skye's eyes trailed from Trip to Jemma, and she let out a hoarse whisper.

"I killed him"


	3. Im not a psychopath, just a murderer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skye and the team try to move on from Ward's betrayal, but with Fitz still injured, Coulson trying to rebuild shield and Skye's deteriorating mental state, it has become difficult to go back to normal. Meanwhile shield is having trouble 'breaking' Ward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promised this chapter this afternoon, but I was a little late. I didnt wake up till 3pm (happy new year). Like I mentioned before, since Im really late with this fic, it is going to be a little different then the series itself. Ill try and bring in season 2 info, but only little things, like certain characters, and scenes. Ive really had this fic planned out for a long time I just haven't gotten to writing it so...ya. Skye will have different powers, but we will still see her father. Ill try and bring in Hunter and Bobbi. Simmons might go undercover (im not sure yet) but basically Ill take everything I see wrong with this season (ward's treatment, how i think they will treat skye, Coulson's hypocrisy, and lack of fitzskimmons) and fix it. But also adding my own fun twists, and suspense. I hope you enjoy...read and review, follow my on tumblr (Lusquishafer), and also Im looking for someone to edit my stories before I post them so PM me if you are interested :)

"With the recent events I have decided to deny your request to send Skye in."

"I really think it will help...if not us than her." Melinda crossed her arms behind her and looked over to Coulson who stared through the one-way glass.

"What do you mean, it will help her" He kept his eyes trained on Skye.

It was almost 2 am and she was still awake. He had taken the tablet from her but somehow she had managed to get her hands on another.

"Keeping her locked in a hospital room alone wont help her heal."

"She isn't damaged"

Melinda sighed, "Not physically damaged, but mentally? She needs help...those things she was saying that night...she actually thinks Trip was her fault."

"and you think letting her talk to that psychopath will help? He tried to kill fitzsimmons" He turned to her and she rolled her eyes.

"He isn't a psychopath, maybe a sociopath, if anything. A psychopath lacks empathy, they are in control, and and do whatever it takes to further themselves...they don't care what happens to others, or what they'll think, and a sociopath acts on impulse, they have empathy...Ward cares for Skye, and if he wanted Fitzsimmons dead, they'd be dead. He didn't plan everything, Garrett did, he didn't further himself, he furthered Garrett. You know that.

He paused and then looked up at her "I don't know whether to help him or not. I want to help him...but something feels wrong about it."

"He is manipulative, I know, but he will talk to her. She is his weakness. The reason he cant possibly be a psychopath.

I'm not saying we let him back on the team but letting Skye talk to him will help everyone."

"No"

"Phil..."

"I don't want to hear you mention him again. He is to stay locked away at the fridge, and you are to stay here and follow my orders... or leave."

"You don't mean that"

"You are giving me now choice"

"You have a choice,  _and_  you know I'm right." She motioned to Skye. "Whatever she is going through he can help, and whatever information he has he wont give up until he can see her. She is the only one he trusts"

"You can stay...or you can go"

"I said I wouldn't leave again"

He looked up at her and flashed a smile "Good-

In the mean time you can have Jemma move Skye into Fitz's room, and start her sessions with the psychologist."

"She doesn't need a therapy"

"You said it yourself, she needs help" He turned and walked away leaving her to her thoughts.

"Not like this" she yelled back at him.

_Not like this_

* * *

"What do you think happened"

Skye watched the tablet carefully, zooming in to get a better read on the body laying on the hospital bed.

"Skye?"

She looked up "hm?"

Fitz stared at her with worried eyes. "What do you think happened to Trip?"

She knew. She knew all too well. But nobody believed her. "I don't know."

"Well you have been staring at his hospital footage for hours now so I would have expected you to figure something out"

Just then another voice spoke up "How about you both drop it and eat something" Jemma walked into the room balancing two trays in her hands.

Skye looked away as she placed the two trays down on each bed.

Jemma spoke up again. "I have things to do, but Ill be back later to escort you to your session"

Fitz looked between them. "What happened to you too"

Skye and Jemma both looked at Fitz and then each other.

Jemma clasped her hands together and turned to leave "Ill see you later"

**She couldn't sleep the past couple nights, and oh-how tired she was. Every time she tried to close her eyes to please the people watching her through the glass window, she'd either have the nightmare of grant...or something else.**

**Something new...and darker, invaded her mind now.**

**The same thing that she dreamt of the night she hurt Trip.**

**She startled in her bed when someone came walking into her room.**

**"Jemma, is that you?"**

**She didn't bother to turn the lights on. "Uh, ya...it is"**

**"Is something wrong?"**

**She walked up to Skye. "I'm sorry, we need your room"**

**Skye grabbed the tablet from her nightstand and turned on the lights. Jemma's head jerked away to look at the ground.**

**Jemma continued "With all of the Hydra attacks going on we have more and more injured coming in every day, and we are running out of room."**

**There was a short silence between the two girls.**

**"Jemma, why wont you look at me?"**

**She glanced upwards and began staring at the machines Skye was hooked up to. "You'll be sharing the room with Fitz, there is plenty of space, and it might help his recovery"**

**"Cant you just look at me? I'm sorry about what happened... I cant control it."**

**Jemma finally looked up at her accusingly "Cant control what, Skye?"**

**"You know what. I told you. and Coulson. and May."**

**She scoffed "What you told us isn't _possible,_ Skye _-_**

**you were dreaming- you had a nightmare, and when Trip went in to calm you down coincidentally he had a seizure caused by stress. It happens a lot in our line of work."**

**She didn't understand. "Do you actually think that?...or is that what Coulson told you to think"**

**"You need rest Skye, you haven't slept since Trip, you haven't had a good sleep since-... hydra, and if you don't stop stressing yourself out with all this blame, the same thing that happened to Trip will happen to you."**

**Skye leaned against the back of the bed and wiped the tears that began to form under her eyes "So you don't believe me."**

**Jemma sat next to Skye on the bed and reached forward to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear "What is there to believe, Skye. You couldn't have possibly seen the future, Skye. Trip wont die. You are wrong."**

**"I killed him Jemma. I saw it. I dont know how i did it, but it happened- it is going to happen. It all felt so real, and then I woke up and...."**

**"This is ridiculous, Skye. Stop acting like some CRAZY person."**

**Skye grabbed her hand and pushed it away. "Im not crazy"**

**Jemma sighed and stood back up. "I'm sending in another nurse to move you into Fitz's room, and I'm setting up a session with the base's psychologist, Coulson's orders"**

**"I don't need therapy."**

**"You need help."**

Fitz waited for the door to close behind Jemma and then looked up at Skye "What aren't you telling me"

"It's nothing"

"It isn't nothing..."

She just played with the tablet, trying to avoid the conversation.

"I know that I'm not as involved with everyone as you told me I used to be, but...something happened and nobody will tell me what. I though you were supposed to be my friend."

"I am your friend."

"Then why wont you talk to me. Ever since you told me about the tall man, you haven't said a word. And then next thing I know I don't see you for a couple days and then we are sharing a hospital room-

I'm quite frightened to be honest. You looked tired enough and now you don't sleep at night...I don't think Jemma does either." He looked over to her and watched her place the tablet to the side.

"His name is Ward"

"What?"

"You keep calling him the tall man, but he has a name. It is Grant Ward."

"You're avoiding the subject."

She looked up and smirked dismissively. "I know...I just don't feel like talking about it right now..."

He leaned forward and grabbed the tray of food in front of him. "Well all right, but you better eat. You look starving, and you really need a shower."

She laughed to herself and grabbed a biscuit off of her tray "Ya, ya, i know."

He took a bite of his mac and cheese and stopped for a moment, taking in the information she had just told him.

With a full mouth he muttered, "Grant doesn't sound like the name of a psychopath"

* * *

The air surrounding him was cooler. Dryer even. He could hear air being blown in through a vent at least two yards above his head.

He hadn't opened his eyes yet but he could tell he was somewhere new. This wasn't the hell hole Coulson had sent him to.

He could no longer hear waves crashing on the shore or seagulls squawking outside his window.

Hell, it didn't sound like there was a window at all. Just a four sided room with air conditioning and...a mattress?

_This definitely was not the fridge._

When he finally opened his eyes he was almost blinded by a white wall. He clenched the side of his bed only to feel a shock of pain in his hand.

_oh right. My fingers are all broken._

_How the hell did I get here?_

**"Alright I'm getting tired of your games. We ran out of fingers already and beat your pretty face, and right now I really don't feel like getting the ice bucket out. I suggest you speak up"**

**He winced at the pain as his muscles clenched together to show a devilish grin "Awww, you think I'm pretty?"**

**"Oh, he speaks?"**

**He shrugged "My ego always did get the best of me"**

**She smirked and shook her head, looking down to write something on her clipboard. "I guess you really are like garrett. He always was too full of himself. Always exaggerating his stories to make himself look like the hero." She nodded to the surveillance camera in the corner and another agent came in carrying a bucket of ice.**

**He placed it on the floor as the agent in the corner fixed his hand cuffs so they were behind his back, instead of hooked onto the table in front of him. He gritted his teeth from the shock of pain in his hand as the agent then shoved him to the floor in front of the bucket**

**"Well Anderson, unlike John, the stories I tell are true-"**

**"I don't think so, I mean isn't it your _lies_  that landed you here"**

**His smile broke as Skye crossed into his mind.** **She was angry and shoving him. She had tears streaming down her face. ' _You liar, Son of a bitch you LIED'_.**

**"-How about I tell you a true story then."**

**"Well yes that is why you are with me now? So you can tell me the truth"**

**"Alright well how about this-**

**Two years ago, around this time. Garrett had a mission with his new trainee.**

**You see they get themselves in this... conundrum. and you know...shield being shield doesn't bother getting them out...**

**and Garrett's real intentions are revealed when, I, of all people, stupidly bring up Garrett's hydra relations, thinking this trainee has already...Gone to the dark side..por say.**

**The trainee doesn't like this. Garrett pleas with him that hydra is better than he thinks. Garrett says shield is the real monster and that they have left us here to die. But the trainee won't have it-**

**so as my punishment, I have to take care of him and make it look like an accident." Ward smiled once again "This next part might sound a little familiar...you wanna know how i know who you are, agent Anderson?"**

**She stood up from her chair and walked over to face him where he was kneeled over the ice bucket. "Enlighten me"**

**His eyes didn't leave hers as she lowered herself to squat in front of him. "After i shot him ...through the heart, I found YOUR picture in his pocket. Covered in his blood..."**

**Her mouth dropped slowly at the realization of what he was telling her.**

**"Looked like a fun new years party...too bad he cant make it to the next-"**

**"You're both psychopaths"**

**"I'm not a psychopath, just a murderer"**

**Cold ice stung the open cuts on his face as he choked on the ice cubes that flooded into his mouth. The agent had pushed his head under with one hand forcing his head down and one pushing on the collar of his shirt. He fought hard to push back up but both his hands and feet had been secured together behind him and the agent shoving him down was too big to fight with his core.**

**His collar choked him on the wake back up when the agent tugged on it.**

**He laughed through his heaving and looked up to find the single tear that had fallen from her eye. "I'm sorry, was my story too much? You wanted true."**

**"So you were the one who killed my brother."**

**"The one and only"**

**"After the fall Coulson told me that Garrett had all of his failed trainees...taken care of, but- I expected bigger jobs for his second in charge.**

**"I did anything Garrett told me, I didn't care. Even if it was to take out the easiest of targets."**

**" ...where were you in those five missing years"**

**He just stared at her with a grin on his face**

**She looked at the agent holding him, "Again"**

**He shoved him to the bottom of of the bucket so his face smashed against the cold metal interior, drawing blood.**

**The agent tugged him back up.**

**"What are Hydra's intentions-"**

**He swung his head down and allowed it to dangle in front of him.**

**She raised her voice "Where are their bases-"**

**"I don't know...where is James. You never did get his body back...I hid it pretty well."**

**She yanked him up by his hair and looked him in the eyes. "If you don't tell me anything soon, Ill have to tell Coulson that you knew nothing, so we had no choice but to save our resources and put you down for good."**

**"Good. Do it." He growled through his teeth.**

**This time he was under long enough so that the blood from his head wound could mix with the water and he was sucking it down with every attempted breath. It was a taste all too familiar so he didn't mind it much anymore. _This was all too familiar._**

**When he was pulled back up he shook the water from his head and started shouting mockingly at her "OH C'MON ANDERSON YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT. YOU KNOW MAYBE IT JUST RUNS IN THE FAMILY. JAMES DIDN'T PUT UP MUCH OF A FIGHT EITHER"**

**She shoved the agent holding him out of the way and pushed down on Ward with all her weight. His face was pressed against the bottom of the tub again, but he didn't fight back.**

_**He deserved this.** _

_**He didn't even kill James but he deserved it.** _

**He couldn't keep the water out anymore and he was running out of breath. She was strong for her size and he was too weak to fight it so he took it.**

**He wasn't there when James was killed. He was undercover in Russia. Garrett called him and told him about the loss of another recruit but bragged about his death. He told him every detail up to the part about finding the picture. It was a shot in the dark with assuming this Anderson was related to James Anderson.**

**The water clogged his nostrils now and filled his lunges. Anderson wasn't stopping and nobody was stopping her.**

**He could hear his heartbeat pounding through his ears and his vision started to go black. _This was it._  Flashes of his brother treading water in the well filled his head with grief and guilt.  _He deserved to die like this_.  _It was all too perfect._**

**Maybe Skye could be at peace knowing he suffered in his last moments.**

**He lay in the water. Still now. Anderson's hand pressing against the side of his head.**

**Visions of Skye solaced him. Any time he ever thought of her now he only saw her pain, but now...he saw her smile.**

**The last thing he remembered was being pulled from the water and thrown to the ground.**

**A tall dark figure was holding back a crying Anderson.**

**He was probably dead. This was probably another hallucination. He deserved this.**

_How the hell did I get here?_

The chrome interior of his new cell resembled the bus.

_Was he on the bus? No. The bus didn't have a white wall._

Suddenly the wall turned transparent and the light to his cell and the outside came to a dim resolution, but still unpleasant to the eye.

He lifted his arm above his eyes to try and help make out out the figure approaching him.

"Hello Ward. Long time no see"

He couldn't believe it. "Skye?...is that you?"

"Sorry to disappoint... it is just me"

His eyes finally adjusted to reveal the cavalry, in her usual black attire, and usual disapproving glare.

_Shit_


End file.
